FFVII: The REAL End of Shin-Ra
by DarkSquirrel
Summary: In FFVII, Disc 2, The Shin-Ra are defeated. But the game doesn't give you all the facts... Please read. It's my first fic.


:::::Leftover Shin-Ra employees are standing around meeting table:::::  
  
Heidgegger: Rufus is dead.  
Scarlet: No shit.  
Reno: Now what do we do?  
Rude: .....  
Reno: What did you just say about my mom?  
Scarlet: I think the only way to win this war is to kill Cloud Strife and his friends!  
Heidgegger: Cloud's name is Cloud?  
Scarlet: THAT'S IT!!! I REFUSE TO WORK WITH THIS DUMBASS!!!  
Heidgegger: Does that mean we're not going out anymore?  
  
:::::Everyone gasps:::::  
  
Scarlet: uh...I uh... Now! About killing Cloud!  
  
:::::Hojo enters:::::  
  
Hojo: HeeeHeeeeHaHa! WOOOOOOO! I can fly!  
Reno: Holy SHIT! He's high on Jenova cells!  
Scarlet: Get him out of my office! Send him to Sector 8!  
  
:::::At Sector 8:::::  
  
Cloud: We have to mosey quietly  
Cid: What the hell is wrong with you! Stop saying mosey, dammit! Or i'll kick yer spikey ass!!!  
Red XIII: Oh no! it's Hojo!  
Hojo: Jenova is here... And whoooa... I'm Stoned.  
Barret: 3 of us have to fight him!  
Cait Sith: Why 3?  
Barret: ......Because.  
  
:::::Barret kills Cait Sith:::::  
  
Cid: What the ***kin' hell was that for, Dumbass?  
Barret: Don't worry... He didn't have any good jokes in this anyway.  
Cloud: Enough talk! Tifa, you and the 2 people next to you, fight Hojo!  
Vincent: Those aren't people, nearsighted fool.  
Cloud: Okay, then Yffie, barret, and I will fight him.  
  
:::::Hojo changes into LifeForm Hojo:::::  
  
Hojo: This is all the energy I shall need, and if not, I'll change into my 4th form!  
Cloud: Get ready to battle! This may get tough!  
  
:::::Cloud simply cuts off Hojo's head:::::  
  
Cloud: Hmmm... Easy enough.  
Hojo: Now try to stand the annoyance of my 4th form!  
Cloud: Annoyance?  
Barret: What the?  
Yuffie: I don't get it.  
Hojo: Ha Ha  
  
:::::Hojo changes into Aeris:::::  
  
Cloud: Kill it! Quick!  
Barret: I'll try! I'll try!  
Yuffie: I never really did like that dumbass flower girl.  
Everyone: We all hated her, Bitch!  
Hojo: The only thing I couldn't replicate was the titanium alloy on the chest.  
Barret: What? (I thought i was the only one who knew about that... I bought 'em for her.)  
Hojo: Enough talk! I'll just kill all of you quickly!  
  
:::::Hojo attacks Yuffie:::::  
  
Yuffie: Hah! You didn't kill me yet!  
Cloud/Barret: Damn!  
Cloud: Just for missing, I think I'm going to kill you now.  
  
:::::Cloud slashes Hojo apart:::::  
  
Cloud: Ha! That takes care of him.  
Hojo: But wait! I have another form... And this one is UNTESTED!  
Barret: Uh oh! This could get harder than pimpin' in Nebraska!  
Cloud: .....I just hope he's not to strong  
  
:::::Hojo starts mutating:::::  
  
Cloud: Here it comes! Be prepared!  
Hojo: I have turned into..... A light bulb?  
Barret: hahahahahahaha!  
Hojo: CRAP! now even YUFFIE can turn me on!  
Cloud: He's finished. Let's mosey.  
Cid: That's it! you quit sayin' mosey or I take this mast axe staff and put it so far up your ass that you won't be able to breathe!  
  
:::::Back at Shin-Ra meeting room:::::  
  
Scarlet: Crap! Hojo is considered dead. We have to send a more powerful force.  
heidgegger: 2+3 is 23  
Scarlet: Dumb piece of... Turks! Go to sector 8 and give Cloud a beating he won't soon forget!  
Rude: .....  
Reno: What did you just say about my mom?  
Elena: C'mon you guys, we've got work to do!  
Reno: You talk to much, frickin' BITCH! Now get to the Shin-Ra kitchen and make me some PIE!  
Heidgegger: Cloud has a sword.  
Scarlet: Shut up.  
  
:::::At sector 8:::::  
  
cloud: Be prepared for the worst!  
Cid: Ooh! Look at me! I'm Cloud! I'm going to go mosey!  
Vincent: Quiet! we've got trouble.  
  
:::::Turks show up:::::  
  
Reno: We're going to kill you now!  
Elena: That's right! Because we're the turks. Yeah. We work for Snin-Ra!  
Reno: DAMMIT! Shut up talkative bitch! You've talked to much for the last time!  
  
:::::Reno kills Elena:::::  
  
Rude: .....  
Reno: Quit talkin' about my mom!  
  
:::::Reno kills rude:::::  
  
Reno: Crap! I'm all alone... I can't win now.  
Cid: Heh heh  
Vincent: Dumbass  
Reno: ...Bye  
Barret: Das Right, Bitch!  
Cloud: Midgar is boring now. Let's go fight Sephiroth.  
Scarlet: Not so fast!  
Heidgegger: Cloud's hair is not green.  
Scarlet: Deploy the Proud Cod!  
Heidgegger: Sandwiches taste good.  
Scarlet: The Proud Cod! A Giant fish made entirely of titanium alloy... And the 20 cannons are powered by mako!  
Heidgegger: It has blue paint on it, too.  
Cloud: This may be the last of Shin-Ra. It could get tough.  
Vincent: Let's make a battle plan.  
Cid: Here's a plan! Go F*** yourself!  
Cloud: Seriously! Tifa, Barret, and I will fight this side. Vincent, Cid and Red, Fight the rear.  
Yuffie: What about me?  
Cloud: Go jump off the Shin-Ra building.  
Yuffie: What will that accomplish?  
Cloud: Yuffie, jumping off the Shin-Ra building will help us all.  
Yuffie: OKAY! Cool.  
Scarlet: NOW LET'S FIGHT!  
Heidgegger: Uh... Scarlet...  
Scarlet: Not now, fool. We must concentrate on beating cloud!  
Red XIII: Attack!  
Heidgegger: Scarlet!  
Scarlet: Not NOW! Wait until LATER! THEN I'll take you out to dinner... Uh... I mean uh... Not now!  
Vincent: Hahahahaha  
Heidgegger: What I was trying to say is that when Hojo and I were working on this machine... I uh...  
Scarlet: What did you do?  
Heidgegger: I sort of... Replaced the control panels with... Cheese graters.  
Scarlet: You WHAT!?!  
Heidgegger: Am I in trouble?  
Scarlet: Yes. But first, let's get OUT OF HERE!  
Cloud: How stupid.  
Cid: That was stupider than the time Aeris got mad drunk and sat in one place until she was killed.  
Yuffie: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Barret: Oh my god! They killed Yuffie!  
Tifa: ALRIGHT! LET'S PARTAY!  
Cloud: Shin-Ra is finished. Let's mosey.  
Cid: Idiotic bastard! You can mosey all you want... Up my @$$!  
  
  
TO BE CONTINUED  
  
  
Preview of next story:  
Cloud and the crew are off to fight Sephiroth.  
Yuffie dies... Again.  
And the story may just end. Maybe not. I could improvise a little.  
  
I just want to give credit to Vob... For no reason at all.  
And I also want to give credit to Mr. Rooki, the little voice in my head. 


End file.
